BYU–Pathway President and Wife Share 5 Principles of Family Leadership

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By Rachel Sterzer Gibson, Church News

The mission of BYU–Pathway Worldwide is to develop disciples of Jesus Christ who are leaders in their homes, the Church and their communities.

During a devotional broadcast on Friday, May 16, BYU–Pathway President Brian K. Ashton and his wife, Melinda, focused their address on one aspect of that mission — being a leader in the home.

“To become what God wants us to become, we need families and, ideally, good parents who know how to lead,” President Ashton said. “Good families also help us to have joy in this life and the next.”

President Ashton noted that no family is perfect. “If you find yourself leading a family you wish was happier, please know that you can recognize patterns that need to change and make the necessary adjustments with the Lord’s help.”

He and Sister Ashton then highlighted five principles found in the scriptures that can help parents righteously lead in their homes.

Sister Ashton testified that God wants all His children to have happy families. “By following these principles, we can create the best conditions for happiness and foster positive family relationships.”

1. Be a Righteous Example

Jesus Christ is the perfect example and has given individuals a pattern for how they should act. Similarly, parents should model the behavior they expect from their children, Sister Ashton said.

“If we want them to be kind, we should be kind to our children and those around us. If we want our children to keep the commandments of God, we must keep those same commandments,” she said.

All parents make mistakes, and their children will too. “Consequently, one of the most important things we can do as parents is repent,” Sister Ashton continued. “Our children need to hear us own up to our mistakes and apologize to them and others. They need to see us do better by relying on the strength that comes from drawing closer to Jesus Christ.”

2. Teach Children to Walk in the Truth

The Lord taught, “I have commanded you to bring up your children in light and truth” (Doctrine and Covenants 93:40).

One of the most important truths parents can teach is that they are spirit children of God, said President Ashton. “Knowing that God is the Father of our spirits means that we have divine parentage and, thus, divine potential. It means we can pray to God, ask for His help and receive it when needed.”

Parents must also teach their children that Jesus Christ is the Savior and Redeemer of the world and to know and obey His commandments. “Why? Because doing good, serving others and treating them as we would want to be treated helps us to be happy,” President Ashton said.

3. Bear Testimony of God’s Blessings

“Because God loves us, He will help us if we let Him,” Sister Ashton assured students. God can help individuals with problems, comfort them in times of sorrow and can guide them in times of trouble.

The scriptures teach that individuals should remember “how great things the Lord [has] done for [our] father[s]” (Ether 6:30).

Said Sister Ashton, “As we share with our children the blessings and miracles God has done in our lives and our families, our children will know God can provide similar blessings and miracles in their lives.”

Because challenges and difficulties provide experience and growth, God will not solve every problem. Instead, “God gives us strength to endure them. But we testify that God can perform miracles in our lives according to His will and timing,” she said.

4. Pray

God expects parents to teach their children to pray and to pray for and with them, said President Ashton.

Jesus taught, “Pray in your families unto the Father, always in my name, that your wives and your children may be blessed” (3 Nephi 18:21).

President Ashton shared how he and Sister Ashton have tried to pray each night with their children. “This has been a blessing, especially when someone needs special help. Not only has it helped us receive divine help, but it has brought a feeling of love and unity into our family.”

5. Create a Culture of Unity

Sometimes, families are so focused on responsibilities that they forget to do the things that make life enjoyable, Sister Ashton noted. “We need wholesome fun and recreation. We need to do things as a family that we enjoy doing together.”

Their own family loves to hike, travel, play games, eat, celebrate special events and have Sunday dinner together.

“Our family cultures also need to be based on treating one another as God treats His children,” said Sister Ashton.

She then shared Doctrine and Covenants 121:41-46: “No power or influence can or ought to be maintained …, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned; By kindness, and pure knowledge.”

If parents are righteous and treat their families as God treats His, Sister Ashton explained, “then God will teach us how He saves His children, and our families will want to be with us and follow us.”

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