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By John G. Bytheway of the Young Men General Advisory Council
When I was a deacon, my parents gave me a brand new hatchet. It had a beautifully varnished wooden handle, a sharp steel blade and, of course, a leather blade cover. I was 12 years old. What could go wrong?
When I brought my hatchet on a camping trip, my wise Young Men leader gathered all the young men around and said, “I want to show you how to use a hatchet so that you don’t injure yourself.” He found a dry log to cut and knelt down in front of it, positioning the log perpendicularly. Then, making sure no one was in the path of the hatchet behind him or in front of him, he proceeded to show us how cut a in a “V” pattern, and how to swing the hatchet in such a way that we would never hit our own legs or shins, even if we completely missed the wood.
For the duration of the trip, we shared that hatchet as each of the young men excitedly chopped wood using their new skill. When I got home from the camping trip, I still had my hatchet, but I had also gained a competency — the ability to do something successfully or efficiently.
Compliments are wonderful; we all love them and need them from time to time, but competencies are even better. If we really want to build appropriate feelings of self-worth in a young man, give him more than compliments. Give him competencies.
If compliments were enough by themselves, we could just create an audio playlist of “You’re great, you’re awesome, you’re special” and have it repeat on an endless loop. But listening to that for 24 hours a day wouldn’t give the young man any skills or competencies — probably just a headache.
D.-Todd-Christofferson
Elder D. Todd Christofferson of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles© 2021 by Intellectual Reserve, Inc. All rights reserved.Elder D. Todd Christofferson of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has taught about the role of mentors in building young men.
“It’s a wonderful aspiration for a boy to become a man — strong and capable; someone who can build and create things, run things; someone who makes a difference in the world,” he said in his October 2006 general conference message, “Let Us Be Men.” “It is a wonderful aspiration for those of us who are older to make the vision of true manhood a reality in our lives and be models for those who look to us for an example.”
Imagine the possibilities. What if, in the process of the many Young Men meetings — Sunday quorum meetings, weekday activities, summer camps and conferences — in addition to learning the gospel of Jesus Christ, each young man was building an ever-expanding list of competencies in many areas?
One Aaronic Priesthood quorum in southern Utah — with input from parents, leaders and, of course, the boys themselves — brainstormed all the competencies they felt each young man needed in order to become, as the Aaronic Priesthood Quorum theme suggests, a “diligent missionary, loyal husband and loving father.”
Their list included a wide range of competencies, from ironing a shirt to preparing a meal in a slow cooker, and from conducting a meeting to interviewing for a job. From basic car maintenance to greeting your date’s parents to doing the laundry so the colors don’t run. And from creating a PowerPoint presentation to buying fractional stocks. The longer the brainstorming session went, the more excited the boys became.
The leaders were especially gratified to see the priests volunteer to teach the deacons the competencies they had learned. They also noted that opportunities for service and ministering were more exciting for the boys when they could actually practice their new skills.
We will continue to pay compliments to our young men, of course. And one day, as we all hope, each of these young men will be called to serve a mission and help gather Israel. They will leave their hatchets at home, but their new mission leaders will be grateful they each brought with them a collection of competencies.
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