Self-Reliance Profiles: Learning Emotional Resilience ‘Will Change Your Life’

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This story appears here courtesy of TheChurchNews.com. It is not for use by other media.

By Mary Richards, Church News

Editor’s note: This is the second of a series of profiles of people increasing their self-reliance through classes from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Part one on “Starting and Growing My Business” is here.

Darleen Nulty, the Plainview New York Stake Relief Society president, is a lifelong learner who grew up in rural Kentucky. She loves to take classes — and one of those classes helped teach her to build better thinking patterns and understand her emotions.

During a stake women’s conference in Long Island, New York, Nulty was announcing a series of self-reliance classes from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints when she realized she had never actually taken one of the classes herself.

She decided to sign up for a class called “Finding Strength in the Lord: Emotional Resilience.”

“I thought I was resilient in my emotions, but I learned how lacking I was in emotional resilience,” she said.

The 10-week class was offered by a stake in Connecticut, and so Nulty attended online. Each meeting included spiritual principles and lessons from the manual and discussions led by a facilitator.

The others in the group with Nulty included people with different backgrounds and challenges.

“I learned so much from other people,” she said, “I saw things from their perspective.” The group formed a close connection despite the distance between them — praying for each other and becoming tearful when the class ended.

Nulty learned how to relate better to others and to tolerate people’s feelings. She also learned how important it was to take care of herself.

In her opinion, the classes are one of the most wonderful programs the Church offers.

“These are things the Lord wants you to know,” she said, adding, “I learned how much Heavenly Father is aware of me and wants the best for me.”

Returning to Church

The Emotional Resilience class and manual are designed to help participants change thinking patterns, increase positive emotions and adapt to challenges with courage and faith centered in the Savior. It began around three years ago and is now offered globally in 30 languages.

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The class was life-changing for Ken Neary, of the New Haven Connecticut Stake.

“It helped me get back in the Church,” he said.

Neary said he started drifting away from Church activity when he was 19. Twelve years later, he felt he needed a new direction.

He took the Church’s Personal Finance class first, then started the Emotional Resilience class.

“It helped me put a stake in the ground — something I can hold onto, like laying down a foundation,” Neary said.

The class also helped him find connection with people, as the group discussed spiritual insights and made personal goals. These moments caused him to look inward and realize he had to take accountability for his own life.

As he looked to establish a spiritual foundation, he realized he needed to accept Jesus Christ’s forgiveness in his life. Now he has a calling in his ward and goes to the temple.

“It laid the groundwork to repent and come back,” Neary said. “It will change your life forever.”

‘This Can Change My Life’

For those preparing to take a self-reliance class, Ashley Bryant Miller, of the Brooklyn 5th Ward in the Brooklyn New York Stake, has this advice: Be more than a casual participant.

“Take the class with an intention and an expectation,” Miller said.

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The wife, mother, Latter-day Saint and working actor has been a part of five different self-reliance classes from the Church over the past few years and said the impact on her life has been profound.

One of those impacts came when Miller and five family members took the Emotional Resilience class.

“It was a sacred time — a time of spiritual growth,” Miller said.

After the class was over, her family members continued to meet once a month to share a gospel topic or talk.

Miller has since facilitated some of the classes online from her home in Brooklyn.

The groups meet once a week and follow a specific manual from the Church for each class. People share ideas, encourage one another and make commitments.

“The whole thing is spiritual,” she said.

For her, the key is to invite the Lord to be a part of one’s life, whether a person is working to start a business, improve their personal finances or strengthen their mental health.

“This is Gospel study,” Miller said. “It will be most effective if you view it as … this can change my life.”

— Elder Bob Hansen and Sister Lorraine Hansen, self-reliance missionaries in the New York New York City Mission, contributed to this article.

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