‘Take Your Sincere Concerns to the Savior,’ Elder Soares Tells Young Adults

 
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By Kaitlyn Bancroft, Church News

“When Jesus Christ walks with us, He blesses us with His Spirit, helping us to see things clearly, and He fills us with His love.”

That’s the promise Elder Ulisses Soares of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles made to young adults during a devotional in St. George, Utah, on Saturday, April 15. In his message, he invited young adults to walk with the Savior in this life and shared possible ways to accomplish that.

Local young adults had previously submitted questions and concerns to their institute leaders. Elder Soares was joined by his wife, Sister Rosana Soares, in answering some of those questions.

Topics ranged from coping with trials to improving Sabbath day worship to finding an eternal companion. Here’s how Elder and Sister Soares responded to each concern.
 

Coping with Trials

What is the role of trials in our life? How can I cope with them, remain on the covenant path, and feel the Savior’s love for me, especially when I face challenges of any nature in my life?

Elder Soares said these are meaningful questions because trials, tests and opposition are part of God’s plan of happiness, a plan that has been created by our loving Heavenly Father.

 
Trials come for everyone, he continued, and he knows from personal experience that facing them isn’t an easy task.

“But my friends, I witness to you that we all can get the strength we need from the Savior and His compassionate, atoning sacrifice to endure our trials and opposition,” Elder Soares said. “... The Savior understands pain and is aware of our adversities.”

Quoting Matthew 11:28-30, Elder Soares said the Savior’s yoke is easy and His burden is light.

“His heart is full of mercy. He is always ready to help and succor us,” he said. “... So, as we draw closer to Him and surrender ourselves spiritually to His care, He can make our burdens light.”

Elder Soares invited the young adults to see their trials through the eyes of faith, to trust in the Lord’s wisdom and to not give up.

“I testify to you that as we rely upon the Savior and act in faith on His invitations, He will give us the strength we need to deal with our struggles, with our weaknesses and with our circumstances. He will increase our capacity to feel consistent peace and rest in our journey,” Elder Soares said.
 

Dealing with Doubts and Controversial Opinions

How do I deal with controversial opinions about the Church? What do I do when I don’t feel fulfilled by living the gospel of Jesus Christ, which consequently raises questions that can create doubts? How do I stand for truth without causing contention in my relationships, and how do I not be influenced by anger and accusations against the Church?

Sister Soares said when she was growing up, most of her family members belonged to a different religion. When she visited these family members, sometimes they’d ask her and her sister questions about their beliefs not with an intent to learn or understand, but to mock and criticize.

 
In response, Sister Soares said she and her sister would smile, try to give short and simple answers, or sometimes walk away.

“Most of the time, we just tried to be the best examples we could when we were around them,” Sister Soares said. “We never got into arguments about who was right or wrong. ... It was easy for us to know when their questions were sincere, and we responded with love and goodness.”

She added that it’s rare to change someone’s mind when there’s contention, rudeness or feelings of superiority. “The Spirit of the Lord does not manifest itself in those situations.”

Sister Soares also shared the story of a friend named John who experienced doubts about the Church. But in a psychology class, he learned about black and white thinking, which is an all-or-nothing mentality that many people struggle with.

John’s teacher taught him the power of the word “and,” Sister Soares said. He learned he could believe in something, and not understand every aspect of that thing. He could have questions, and still have faith.

“I know sometimes we are confronted by people of our own religion, people who are discouraged or who have a lot of unanswered questions or doubts in their hearts,” Sister Soares said. “It’s normal to have questions. I have them too. But I have no doubts, because I choose to believe and live by faith. And one day, I know I will have the answers.”

 
Elder Soares added that having questions can be a positive thing — after all, the gospel restoration began with a young man’s question.

He also urged young adults to seek information from correct sources.

“Oftentimes, people spend a lot of time accessing information from dubious sources and forget to bring light to their mind and heart through the Spirit of the Lord. In so doing, they may create a spiritual and emotional imbalance in themselves,” he said. “Keep a strong connection with God and bring light to your mind and heart. Don’t forget to continue to fast and pray for guidance, read the scriptures for revelation, attend church and worship in the temple. … God is the source of all light and truth.”
 

Prioritizing Scripture Study

How can I prioritize my scripture study and make it more meaningful and helpful in the process of becoming a true disciple of Jesus Christ, especially considering the many demands on my time?

The important thing, Sister Soares said, is making time for the scriptures every day even if how or when someone studies changes over time.

Elder Soares added that young adults should prayerfully seek the Lord’s guidance regarding their unique circumstances and demands on their time.

“Please remember that in all that you do, God has given you the gift of agency to choose,” he said. “... So, I invite you to do your best to be faithful and worthy to have the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost and qualify to receive personal revelation.”

 
Repentance

How can I know if I am really forgiven of my sins? How can I forgive myself? At what point should I seek help from my bishop?

“When we humble ourselves before God, counsel with appropriate Church leaders, repent and forsake our sins, then we are forgiven,” he said.

Additionally, if we can feel the Spirit when we pray, read the scriptures, teach, testify or at any other time, that is another witness that we have been forgiven or at least that the cleansing process is taking place in us, for the Spirit cannot dwell in an unholy tabernacle. That cleansing process takes time, Elder Soares said, but in the interim, individuals can feel confidence that God approves of their progress.

“The apostle Paul beautifully counseled that we should put the past behind us and press forward, trusting in God’s redeeming power. Such an effort on our part is a demonstration of faith and desire to repent,” Elder Soares said.
 

Improving Sabbath Day Worship

How can I improve my Sabbath day worship both at church and at home?

Sister Soares asked the young adults to consider why they attend church. For her, the answer is to worship Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, renew the covenants she’s made with Them, and to ask for forgiveness and strength.

She said that sometimes people hear things at church that they don’t agree with, “but we have to understand that we are all volunteers in the kingdom of God here on earth, and we have different backgrounds, levels of testimony and faith ... . We are all learning.”

Sister Soares also encouraged the young adults to not miss the second hour of church.

“Maybe you say to yourself, ‘I don’t gain anything by going to church or staying for the second hour,’” she said. “And maybe you won’t gain anything, but you can lose a lot of things. You can lose the desire to avoid sin. You can lose the desire to not complain, or you can lose the desire to keep from unrighteously judging others.”

Truly worshiping at church sets the tone for the remainder of the Lord’s day, Sister Soares said. Worshiping at home is sometimes easier when a person lives with faithful family members or roommates, but it’s important to be faithful and committed even when others are not.

“We don’t show tolerance and respect by being indifferent or thinking we [are] better than others who don’t make the same choices as us,” Sister Soares said. “We show tolerance by doing what’s right while respecting their choice to live differently.”
 

Finding an Eternal Companion

Do you have any counsel for those of us who are struggling to find their eternal companion and are feeling that every relationship goes wrong? What are your thoughts on dealing with doubts when dating someone? Do you have any insights on discussing difficult but important topics such as worthiness, pornography or setting boundaries in your physical relationship?

Elder Soares said faith is necessary while building social relationships that can lead to finding an eternal companion. The dating process, like any other, requires guidance by the Spirit, he said.

He then invited a young married couple, Annette and Ron Higginbotham, to share their experiences and insights.

 
Ron Higginbotham said finding an eternal companion was important to him, so he approached the dating process with that goal in mind.

The process worked better for him, he said, when he focused on what he could do in the moment, such as going on fun dates and meeting lots of people.

Annette Higginbotham added that it’s important to trust the Lord’s timeline and have charity towards dating partners.

“The more that we study charity, the more that we learn about the pure love of Christ, the more we realize that the relationship that we yearn for with [an] eternal companion starts with ... love,” she said. “The love of our Savior Jesus Christ is so simple.”

Elder Soares said that in the search for an eternal companion, people are sometimes much more idealistic than realistic about what they expect in a future spouse. “These unrealistic expectations can cause people to focus only on external characteristics, rather than on the things that truly matter and may stand in our way and in the way of the Lord,” Elder Soares said. “They may cause us not to rely on the Lord to help us move forward in this process.”

Elder Soares asked the young adults to consider what truly matters. “Think about this list that may include: Does spending time with him or her help me to come closer to the Savior? Does he or she demonstrate charity?... Does he or she strive to do the Lord’s will in all things? Would [he] or [she] make a good husband or wife, father [or] mother? Does he or she attend church and the temple? Does he or she respect and honor his or her opportunity to do the work in the name of the Lord?”

Quoting President Dallin H. Oaks, Elder Soares said a good marriage doesn’t require a perfect man or a perfect woman; it requires only a man and woman committed to striving together toward perfection.

When it comes to navigating difficult conversations within relationships, Ron Higginbotham said he and his wife have learned that if one of them is thinking they should probably talk about something, the other person is likely thinking the same thing.

Annette Higginbotham said for each stage of a relationship, it’s important to be clear about where each person is at, from if a couple is officially boyfriend/girlfriend to comfort levels with things like holding hands and kissing.

“Whenever there is a hard thing, or maybe you’re questioning something ..., the easiest thing to do is talk about it.”
 
Elder Soares invited the young adults to consider the following compassionate invitation of the Savior as they look for answers to their heartfelt questions: “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened” (Matthew 7:7-8). “Take your sincere concerns to the Savior,” he said.

“Asking, seeking and knocking, so to speak, is one of the marvelous gifts the Lord offered us when we were sent to earth,” he said. “... As we focus our lives on the Savior, we will find answers to the deep and essential concerns of our souls.”

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